Well, Not Bad, Really

Comments from someone who is not apparently inspired by his or her workplace safety program:  "We had a safety meeting today at work.  The leader asked what steps we would take in case of a fire.  Fast, big steps was not the right answer."

Can't

Found a little piece from a ballpoint pen on the floor of the car.  I'm pretty sure the pen is long gone, since it came apart at some point and couldn't be reassembled with the missing part.  Just the same, I can't make myself throw away that little part.

Inconsistent

Sitting in a doctor's office last week.  Advertisements and banners all around for healthy skin, achieving youthful appearance, and weight loss.  Food Channel on the TV.

Fake Out

If it's really Final Fantasy, why are we now up to XV?

Influence

It's quite surprising how influential Polish people are to almost any form of election.

Paradox

Escalade Hybrid

Appropriate

A son born on 3-16 named John.  A son born on 3-17 named Patrick.

Ironic

Rented a car from Hertz.  Got upgraded from a 4 door sedan to a small SUV, at no extra charge.  It's a Jeep Compass.  It doesn't have one.

Synergy

It seems conveniently organized that Wednesday is a big junk mail / ad day, and our trash collection day is Thursday.

No More

Can't look at Cracker Barrel any more without seeing a racial slur.

Not Sure

Saw a new way to deliver Super Glue.  A little package with four tiny tubes in it, marked "single use."  If that's intended, I wonder why each little tube came with a lid?

To File

When there is the opportunity, drivers need to be reminded that it is improper to park in front of a fire hydrant.  Equally important, men should be advised that the male version of short silly pants should be prohibited.  Very bad form.

Also, some people have developed a new method of parallel parking.  They lead into the parking space with the front of the vehicle.  When the right front wheel jumps the curb, cut the wheels hard to the left.  When the front wheel drops off the curb, just put 'er in park.  Done.

Unintended

Saw a truck yesterday, with a very well done and well designed paint job, advertising their company as "Tire and Wheel Connection."  I couldn't help but think that is just a lug nut.

Better

Gibbs for President.  DeNozo as VP, McGee for Director of Homeland Security, and Cote as Secretary of State (with the requirement that she remain fully armed and knived up for all her meetings and travel).

Only problem with Gibbs is that the definition of marriage would have to be that it is the union between one man and one woman at a time.

Donuts vs Potato Chips

This is a nutritional battle royale. These represent two slightly varying schools of thought on the necessary basic food groups. One prospers starch, sugar, and grease. The other starch, salt, and grease. Leaving the decisive issue as salt vs sugar, which is a totally unfathomable (and happily an unnecessary) decision.

My choice, therefore, is both, in moderation. I'm even unwilling to accept a differentiation between proper times of day for either, since both are equally appealing at almost anytime of day or night.

Fix It

From the Chron.com home page this morning, perhaps Missouri City should do something to limit the import of vehicles with steering wheels on the right side, and advise drivers not to drive on the wrong side of the road.

If the picture were just digitally reversed, the speedometer would be indicating that the vehicle is travelling at about 160 mph and those people crossing would obviously be statistics. This photo must have just been yoinked from some stock UK graphic source. Notice the face of the child in the rear view mirror, adding to the emotion of the scene.

I've heard people say that Missouri City is a little "backwards", but I don't think this is what they meant.